“Although I didn’t understand it at the time, my motivation for obeying Jesus had shifted from grace to works. It progressed from attempting to earn God’s favor, to gaining the favor of my disciples. “Discipleship” had become a way to leverage my identity and worth in relationship with others. I was comfortable on the pedestal dispensing wisdom and truth.The more disciples I made, the better I felt about myself. My motivation for discipleship was a mixture of genuine love for God and lust for praise. I sincerely loved God and wanted others to fall more deeply in love with him, but my motives weren’t always pure. I quickly became a disciple who lacked authenticity and community. Don’t get me wrong, there were good intentions and good fruit from these relationships, but in a sense, I was still following Jesus alone. The professional/novice relationship created a comfortable distance from admitting my failures in genuine community. I stood at the top of the stairs of discipleship, peering down at those who sat at my feet instead of sitting in the living room with my fellow disciples, where I belonged. I put the best foot forward and hid the ugly one. As a result, disciple became more of a verb than a noun, less of an identity and more of an activity. The center of discipleship subtly shifted from relationships centered on Christ to an activity centered on what I knew.”
– johnathan dodson
Reflection:
Jesus has entrusted us with the mission of making disciples who make disciples. However, one common pitfall is wrapping our identity around the mission rather than Jesus Himself. In doing so, we may find more fulfillment in influencing others than in our relationship with God. Our sense of righteousness may come from serving others rather than resting in what Christ has done for us. This inevitably hollows out the discipleship process.
The analogy of standing at the top of the stairs versus sitting in the living room with fellow disciples is powerful. It reflects our heart posture toward those we lead. Christianity teaches us to remain humble even as we grow in knowledge—to descend even as we mature. All believers, regardless of their spiritual maturity, are dependent on grace. None of us graduate from being needy learners. Even those who have walked with God for years and have taught others still sit at the feet of Jesus alongside fellow believers.
If we are to effectively make disciples of Jesus, our primary focus must be on Jesus Himself rather than on the task of making disciples.
